The Best Prank Ever
by IanB
Summary: The Marauders perform their best prank on Snivellus. Warning: may cause you to fall off your chair and roll on the floor laughing. RR!


"So do you think it's ready yet," asked Sirius exitedly, unable to sit still. "Sirius, for the hundreth time, no I don't think it's ready yet. The book said it takes a month," responded James, annoyed. For the last two weeks, this was all Sirius had thought about, and he had the grades to show it. Sirius whined like a little puppy, "Awwwwwwwwwwww. I want it to be ready now. I'm doing it right?" "Right, Sirius. Surprisingly, this fact hasn't changed in the five minutes that you last asked that question," James said, biting sarcasm in his voice. "This is going to be the best prank ever," said Remus exitedly, looking up from his homework. Peter laughed at just the prospects of what could happen. Indeed, the prospects were hilarious. You see, in the 5th year Gryffindor boy's bathroom, they were brewing a Polyjuice Potion. From what they had read, this potion would allow them to embarras Snape beyond belief. They even had a small part of Snape, a hair, which Peter had unhappily collected, claiming that he might "catch the greasy"(A/N: Evidently, he did!). They had decided that Sirius should be the one to do it, since they could always say that he was still in bed, while they watched the festivities. When it was all over, he would walk in. They would tell him loudly that he had missed a great show, all about what Snape did. Of course, they would be conveniently within earshot of Snape when this happened. Remus would be the one to sub-due Snape, to make sure he didn't walk in during Sirius' routine. James had made the potion, since they were all abysmal at that class anayways. The Marauder's were primed to pull their best prank to date. Only one problem, as Sirius pointed out, "We don't get to take the credit!"  
  
Finaly, a week later, the potion was ready. James dropped the Snape hair into a cup full of Polyjuice Potion. It frothed and bubled, eventually settling on a pitch black. "Ugh. Snape hair grease," said Sirius, "Bottoms up." He drank the potion quickly, in two gulps. "Mmmmmmmm...you guys should try some of that," said Sirius, "It's really good." "Shut up, your not fooling anyone," said James curtly. Suddenly, Sirius began to thrash around. His body started shrinking, as he was turned into Snape. "The finishing touch," said Sirius, after the transformation was complete. He aplied liberal amounts of hair gel, giving it the shiny, greasy, Snapey look. "Okay, you guys know the plan, let's move, we don't have much time," said James, barely containing his exitement.  
  
Remus stunned Snape from behind as he was walking to breakfast. He lugged him to the girls bathroom that was near the Great Hall. When he was out of sight, Sirius, looking like Snape, of course, walked around the corner, and into the Great Hall. He was wearing his robes, which were humongeous on Snape's small frame, he was wearing boxers with hearts on them, and a pink shirt inside the robes, which could be seen plainly to say, "Gay and Proud," in purple lettering. His robe was wide open, and everyone could see this ridiculous attirement. Sirius had to restrain himself from laughing. He walked into the middle of the Great Hall, everyone looking at him now. He put his crooked nose into his hand, and blew his nose into it. He then slicked back his hair with the same hand. Cries of, "Ewwwwwwwwww. Gross," and the like filled the Great Hall. Little did they know, Sirius was just getting warmed up. He walked up to the teacher's table, everyone still watching him, wondering what was going to happen.  
  
"Dumbledore, baby, thanks for last night," said Sirius, winking madly, "I didn't think you still had it in you, sweetheart." Sirius passed Dumbledore some gold, not so discreetly. Sirius was still winking madly, in a horribly failed attempt to be subtle. "That was the most magical experience of my life," said Sirius loudly, as he had been talking, so the people close by could hear. They would undoubtedly tell everyone else about Dumbledore and Snape's night. "But I really think we need to break it off, I mean you're a great guy but, you are, like, a hundred years old, and besides, I love someone else," Sirius continued, barely containing his laughter. He walked away, swaying his hips like a girl. Dumbledore looked stunned, the normal twinkle in his eyes gone. He only managed to jibber at Sirius, not quite making real words, but coming close. Sirius made his way over to James. By now, half the Great Hall was in hysterics, including some of the teachers. They had never seen Dumbledore speechless before. "Oh no," exclaimed James loudly, groaning convincingly. "You know James, you are one fine looking man," said Sirius flamboyantly, "I wouldn't say no to an offer to spend the night, if you catch my drift." Sirius kept nudging James, trying to get him to "catch his drift." "Snape, you flamer, get away from me before I put my foot up your arse," said James, his hands in his face. Peter was shaking with silent laughter next to him. "I wouldn't say no to something else-" James punched Sirius in the face. "Oh my god," cried Sirius, putting his head between his knees, but looking up and winking at James, showing that he wasn't hurt, now Sirius screamed, in a very high-pitched voice, "I can't believe you turned me down! Right after I dump Dumbledore for you! I hate you!" The entire Great Hall was cracking up, even the Slytherins couldn't contain themselves. Sirius was obviously loving every minute of it, but his time was running out. "Fine, I'll never speak to you again," sobbed Sirius. He ran out of the Great Hall crying, tripping once, smacking his face off the ground, crying even more. He ran into the girl's bathroom, where Remus kept stunning Snape, obviously bored. "How'd it go," asked Remus excitedly. "Fabulous," said Sirius, still pretending to be gay, and they both cracked up. "Well, I'll be changing back soon." As soon as he said this, he fell to the floor and started thrashing around again, eventually changing back into the real Sirius. "Wake him up, and we'll be off," said Sirius. Remus cast a spell on Snape, and then sprinted out of the bathroom. He walked down the hall, joining Sirius and walking into the Great Hall. What they saw was absolute chaos. Dumbledore had finally recovered, and marched out past them, probably looking for Snape to give him a month of detentions. Some of the students were still laughing uncontrollably. Sirius looked at James and said, grinning ear to ear, "What'd we miss?" 


End file.
